As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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