i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize