i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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