How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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