Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Randomize
