I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Did you just correct my spelling of a made up word?
No, I just was using your word in plural form
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
