I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize
