yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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