wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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