Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
