I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
