told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
I think I should've done my makeup before I took the acid. Because now I just feel silly looking at myself in the mirror
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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