why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
