her vagine was all disorganized.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
Randomize
