if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Randomize
