You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Randomize
