chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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