Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Randomize
