yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
3pm strippers are depressing
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
Rumble strips road head = magical
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
