Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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