I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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