they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
