apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
