It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
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I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
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The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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