Umm I'm too high to move.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize
