i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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