I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Panties = found
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
