It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Randomize
