Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize