One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
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I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
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