i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
