I was just standing there and then BOOM! She was attacking my face with her mouth.
I don't get it, man. She treated me like a sexual predator but treated you like a piece of meat.
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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