bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
