Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
