I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
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