Cold hands, warm shart.
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i awoke yet another morning with penis breath. ive been so generous santa has to bring me a shit ton of presents
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
How's work?
Spinning.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My life is pants optional.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
