They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
