so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
I've never seen anyone write a check for a bar tab before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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