i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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