D3 body, D1 cock
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
