either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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