this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
