can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
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