Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
zippers are such a cool invention
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
Randomize
