I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
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