Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
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