apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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