Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
