yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.