She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick