both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Screaming "dámelo" at the bottle of scotch was definitely my best and worst moment of Cinco de Mayo 2015.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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