This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
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she left with her roommate. or at least i think she did. but i also just thought i ate candy corn but i'm hal convinced it was candle wax.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
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