Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
my vagina has a 5:00 shadow
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
