I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Actions speak louder than pants.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
