I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
