dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize