I'm going to jail i love you
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Randomize