whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
