i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
