Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
His mom just described him as a manipulative, deceitful bastard -- oddly I still want him
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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