and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
Randomize
