His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
