yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
