I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
